Chuck Norris knits sweaters. And by knits, I mean eats. And by sweaters, I mean children.

Monday, July 17, 2006

makes me wanna wag my tail, when it comes I wanna wail, maaaaiiiiillllll!

This post is pretty much going to be the equivalent of that episode of Family Guy where Mayor Adam West (Mayor Chapstick?!) tries to distract the citizens of Quahog from government issues by dangling his keys out the window to an angry mob...except, in this case, I'm going to attempt to distract you from the fact that my knit.1 sweater could have been finished, like, a week ago. But, I was on vacation at the Cape (where I bought some yarn, yaaaay) and, well, I'm not good at time management. Therefore it took me three days to seam four pieces.

Finished sweater? Time mangement? Finished sweater? (jangles keys furiously)

Those are my keys up there, courtesy of ebay. I'm definitely going to say the Interweave is my favorite just because of the multitude of stuff I want to knit from there; the middle Vogue Knitting is an "eh" with its only saving grace being a gorgeous cabley cardigan that I definitely will knit, and then there's the final one, on the left, which has such gorgeous pieces such as THIS LI'EL BEAUTY:

A floor-length stockinette stitch dress of NOVELTY yarn in the most fabulously PUKETASTIC colors! What a stunner! But seriously, look...I know the models are supposed to sell this stuff and look fierce (is it obvious that I watch America's Next Top Model? Thank ya, Miss Tyra) but this model actually looks like she is being pained in this photo. As if the itchy, plasticy fabric were eating her skin. Well, at least she's being honest.

But. The best part.

Do you see the caption at the bottom? Do you see where it says "the sexiest dress"? I know you assumed they must've been talking about another pattern on this page. Sadly this is not the case, as any other pattern featured in the same magazine fold would've leapt out screaming for mercy (or maybe a blindfold.) Yeah, this is what's being considered...the sexiest dress. Now, that is a LIE. Surely such a claim may be considered false advertising? Anyway, in the future I will always take caution before knitting something VK calls "the sexiest" anything.


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