Chuck Norris knits sweaters. And by knits, I mean eats. And by sweaters, I mean children.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

wrapper's delight, or, why you should never buy cheap needles off the internets

Ms. Marigold is over 90% finished. All of her parts are completed, save the trim around the armholes, the neckbands, and the little fluttery things on the shoulders (or, "wings") so I'm pretty much on track for my August 30th finish date. You know, if my summer reading and biology paper don't get in the way. Ahem.

I had gathered some momentum for the tasks ahead during my second time binding off (1st attempt was too tight--btw, am I the only one who takes like four hours to undo each bound off stitch one by one?! never again) which you can see at right, although the color is pretty inaccurate. So what happened? Right. I know I lamented the picking-up neckband stitches in my last post, but really I was kind of looking forward with them today, and after I took a stab at it (ha ha PUN) with my beloved Denises, I figured I had a pretty good handle of it. Well, shucks, Denises don't come in sizes smaller than 5, and that's what I needed for this project, hence the unwise purchase of 4 no-name brand bamboo circulars from Hong Kong on ebay. When I got them in the mail I didn't open them up right away (why?!) but when I first tried using them--today--I noticed that the stitches were having a real hard time moving over the needles, almost as if the coating was uneven and catching on the yarn. AND the cords are plastic tubes GLUED ON. In other words, no matter how cheap I am, I am never buying shit-ass needles from ebay for $6 ever again. What have we learned today, kids? You get what you pay for!

So instead, I did THIS.
See that? That is my first crocheted thing EVER! I decided I couldn't live without an uneven wobbly square of crappy single crochet any longer, or I would just die. It was pretty exciting, and now I feel like a maverick of needle arts (snort.) Okay, so I can only chain and single crochet, but I'm getting there. Now I know enough to finish the armholes of Ms. Marigold (I guess I can do that while waiting to buy new #3's for the neckband) and, sometime in the future, I can work my way up to two of my favorite projects from The Happy Hooker: Stitch 'N Bitch Crochet...Short 'N Sweet and THE PREPSTER JACKET! (All hail the Prepster Jacket.)

Well, now I'm off to watch Project Runway (is there anyone who doesn't watch this show?)...hopefully the judges won't be as coked up as they were last week. I mean, SERIOUSLY. Vincent? Not even a kooky hat could save the dress you sent down the runway last week (can I even call it a dress? the model looked like she was wrapped in kindergarten art department barf.) Allison? I miss you. Robert? Design all my clothes, please? And Tim? Oh my dog. Tim Gunn...everyone needs Tim Gunn in their life. Period.


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