Chuck Norris knits sweaters. And by knits, I mean eats. And by sweaters, I mean children.

Monday, July 17, 2006

makes me wanna wag my tail, when it comes I wanna wail, maaaaiiiiillllll!

This post is pretty much going to be the equivalent of that episode of Family Guy where Mayor Adam West (Mayor Chapstick?!) tries to distract the citizens of Quahog from government issues by dangling his keys out the window to an angry mob...except, in this case, I'm going to attempt to distract you from the fact that my knit.1 sweater could have been finished, like, a week ago. But, I was on vacation at the Cape (where I bought some yarn, yaaaay) and, well, I'm not good at time management. Therefore it took me three days to seam four pieces.

Finished sweater? Time mangement? Finished sweater? (jangles keys furiously)

Those are my keys up there, courtesy of ebay. I'm definitely going to say the Interweave is my favorite just because of the multitude of stuff I want to knit from there; the middle Vogue Knitting is an "eh" with its only saving grace being a gorgeous cabley cardigan that I definitely will knit, and then there's the final one, on the left, which has such gorgeous pieces such as THIS LI'EL BEAUTY:


A floor-length stockinette stitch dress of NOVELTY yarn in the most fabulously PUKETASTIC colors! What a stunner! But seriously, look...I know the models are supposed to sell this stuff and look fierce (is it obvious that I watch America's Next Top Model? Thank ya, Miss Tyra) but this model actually looks like she is being pained in this photo. As if the itchy, plasticy fabric were eating her skin. Well, at least she's being honest.

But. The best part.

Do you see the caption at the bottom? Do you see where it says "the sexiest dress"? I know you assumed they must've been talking about another pattern on this page. Sadly this is not the case, as any other pattern featured in the same magazine fold would've leapt out screaming for mercy (or maybe a blindfold.) Yeah, this is what's being considered...the sexiest dress. Now, that is a LIE. Surely such a claim may be considered false advertising? Anyway, in the future I will always take caution before knitting something VK calls "the sexiest" anything.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

and the sweater has yet to be blocked...

Alright, time to buckle down. That sweater will be blocked tonight! It must be! (I would post a picture of the pieces, but the multiple times I have tried all the photos have come out, how do you say...quite crap. Really. Let's pray I can take a decent picture of this thing when it's finished.)

If it's finished?! Okay, I'm going to stop talking about it in fear of jinxing it. Let it instead become the elephant in the room as I type the rest of this post (glances anxiously over to the sweater in a limp pile in the corner of the room.)

Let's talk about a happier--although still troubled--relationship. Enter the Corset Pullover. This is another project that I started ages ago and subsequently abandoned, but I've been making a bit of progress on it now so I guess you could say we've "knit and made up"? (Oh my god, that was ridiculous. Right--never again.)

This is my first photo linked from Flickr! (crosses fingers) Hopefully this works.

Wow, I love love love love the texture of this stitch pattern. Almost enough to knit a full length jump suit out of. Almost. Okay, maybe not. But certainly enough to show you a gratuitous amount of closeups!

*insert Jaws theme here*

Wow, look at that--what? What's in the back, you ask? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Fine.

It's a completed front, finished about three months ago. That should be good, right? Less pieces to knit now? Closer to the finish line? Nooo...if there's one thing about me, its that I'm never close to the finish line. See, now that I look at it I'm seeing all kinds of nasty little mistakes--tension jumping, hole-y increases, that sort of thing. And it looks bad. If this were a back piece, I wouldn't really mind, I guess...but am I seriously going to have a sweater where the back piece is nicer than the front? Rawrgh. This might go in the frog pond; I'm not sure. I'm going to finish the back and sleeves before I decide.

As for now...MOVE ALONG PEOPLE, NOTHING TO SEE HERE!

Sunday, July 02, 2006

So this is my second attempt at a knitting blog. The first attempt, the very short lived and poorly kept chronicles of knit knerd, had wings for some time but eventually flew a little too close to the sun. (I implore you not to click that link, heh, it's really bad.) Anyway, I've decided to start fresh, with the promise that I will update this blog every day! Woo! Actually, I'll probably update marginally less than that. Once in a while. More than five times a year. Yeah! Knit spirit!

Since I'm in high school, and since the state of Connecticut does not require that you attend class over the summer, I have nothing to occupy my life this vacation except babysitting, reading, and knitting. That's good, considering I have tons of WIPs languishing in a forgotten corner in my room...and there are tons of knitting projects I really want to get to before summer is over. But for now, I'm going to work on blocking and seaming the pieces of my knit.1 plaid turtleneck before it gets too hot and sticky outside for the task to be (totally) disgusting. Pictures to come!